// HELP FOR MOMS
Beg and Bribe or Relax and Reward
March 5, 2010
When I was a kid, my mom would often beg and bribe me to help around the house. I’m not saying my mom was wrong (I definitely liked being lazy until I was offered twenty bucks), but I didn’t want to use that with my own kids.
I was turned on to the idea of paying kids for chores by allowing them to earn chore bucks from Jennifer Steward of Stewardship Ministries. She had a neat chore cards system that rewarded kids when they completed all their chores.
The only problem was it required more out of me than I could seemingly handle. I loved the cards, but I didn’t love having to police it and hand out the chore bucks so the kids could use their chore bucks to pick something. So, I did what I always do. I took what I loved about the system, and threw away the parts that didn’t work for me. What I loved was the Reward system. What I didn’t love was that it felt like a bribe to me.
I would purchase items for the “Good Kids Box.” I tried to find things so there would be items each of the kids would like, bouncy balls, pencils, little horses, dinosaurs, Mad Libs, etc. I would catch my kids in the act of doing something good, and reward them. Routine home things were not always rewarded. We changed the name of chores to JOYS (Joyful Obedient Youthful Service). In other words, it was their duty.
I also had another box I called the “Blessed Kids Box.” This box contained small items like gum, little candy bars, erasers, stickers, etc. The point of this box was if one of the kids did something that warranted picking out of the “Good Kids Box,” everyone else was “blessed” to have a sibling who did something to be rewarded, so the rest of the children picked something out of the “Blessed Kids Box.”
Another thing I would sometimes do is just randomly say, “I’m so BLESSED to have such wonderful children.” One of the kids would look at me and smile.
I would smile nod at her and she would announce, “We get to pick out of the blessed kids box!” The kids loved it!
I found that using the Good Kids Box and Blessed Kids Box met my need of wanting to reward good behavior without it being a bribe.
A Brush With Death
February 12, 2010
As I lay in bed, I instinctively, lovingly, rested my hand on my pregnant belly. Little did I know as I felt the kicking of my unborn baby that in just a few short minutes my life would be changed forever.
The time was getting nearer for our baby to be born. I had been having contractions all day. I figured our baby would be born that night or the next day when I went to my scheduled appointment. (more…)
Is It Time to Party?
January 22, 2010
Many of you know my mom was diagnosed with rapid growth small cell lung cancer right around Thanksgiving of 2009. Her first round of chemo began Friday after Thanksgiving. I had the pleasure (is that an oxymoron?) of being with her in the hospital when the doctor gave her the prognosis of just a couple of weeks to live without chemo or she could have a few months left with the chemo. Talk about heart wrenching!
I turned into Miss Robotic. Everything became just matter-of-fact as I would share the information with loved ones. Inside I was weeping, on the outside, I was calm and steady. (until I got home a few days later)
My mom cracks me up all the time. On day two when the doctor came in her room she asked, “Is it terminal?” Maybe it’s odd to laugh at the question, but it just tickled me, and still does.
While in the hospital Mom said, “Well, since I don’t have much time left on the earth I better get myself a goal.” A while later she said, “My goal is to make everyone smile who comes in contact with me.” That is my mom! Life has never been about her – but always about others. Even though she was in immense pain she needed to get out of her hospital bed and walk. As we walked past the nurses station Mom suddenly began to dance. It was more like a hip-bump-bump kind of thing. But all of the nurses began to laugh. She took my hand, looked me in the eye and said, “Working on that goal!” – then she winked at me.
Without divine intervention, Mom is going to die. We have talked together about funeral arrangements and things like that.
When I was on the plane I saw in the Sky Mall magazine an ad for personalized playing cards. Mom LOVES to play cards. Most of my memories as a kid involve playing games with Mom. We played Cribbage, Five Hundred, all kinds of Solitair games, Nertz, etc. I thought this would be a perfect “take-away” for her family and friends.
I shared the idea with my sister who gently reminded me that they don’t give out party favors at funerals.
I still thought I had a brilliant idea and shared it with my mom on the phone. She LOVED the idea! She had me look up prices. She said, “I don’t want flowers at my funeral” But I would love to have playing cards for everyone.
The next day she called and said, “Did you know they have “living funerals?”
I said to her, “Mom! That’s called a party!”
She said, “Well, I want one!” I couldn’t believe the excitement in her voice when she began to talk about having a party. She would invite all of her family and then they wouldn’t have to come down for the funeral. They could remember her as being fun. (Have I mentioned that I decided a long time ago that I don’t “do” funerals?) She then started talking about having a garage sale at the same time and it would pretty much pay for the party.
I think it’s a grand idea! Then we can give out party favors! We talked about how to personalize the cards. I suggested a picture of her standing by the semi truck she used to drive. She liked that idea. Then I said, “Maybe the caption should simply say,
Ilene Harlan born June 17, 1945
SHE LIVED!
Mom loved it! – because it is the truth.
So, we’re planning a party. Y’all are invited!
Then ….later….. we’ll all get to have a party again!
I took this picture of Mom and Shileen when we went to visit last weekend. Mom was having a rough day. When I saw them sitting together like that, I just got such a sense of peace. She may be resting on the outside – but on the inside – she’s having a party!
Mommy Inventions
January 19, 2010
Change – I thrive on it. I’m constantly coming up with new uses for my time. Maybe I should now become an affiliate marketer I might ask myself. Then I will get the books and decide. Usually I drop the idea in the middle of research. But sometimes the idea will go even further (like Ta-Dah Mom – which I continue to promote).
Another thing my brain seems to do is actively invent new products. Oh, if I only had the resources to research all of my ideas! I may have figured out that what I really love is the research and not necessarily seeing the fruition of my idea. No, what I really love is telling someone my idea then having them tell me it’s “brilliant and you should do it!” That’s all I’m after, the words proclaiming how smart I am. (Now if that isn’t egotistical I don’t know what is – but I’m just being real here)
I would venture to say that on an average day I will use the phrase, “I have an idea” at least five times. Most of my ideas are ways to make the life of a mom just a little bit easier. With eight kids, I’ve had a lot of opportunity to make my life easier. 
One of my ideas is a Night Owl Alarm Clock. It would be set at a certain time which would tell the child, “time to brush your teeth and put on your jammies.” Then 15 minutes later, it would chime again letting them know they are to get their FINAL drink of water. In five minutes another alarm would signal the child to get into bed. One more alarm (you set the time) would tell the child to put down the book and turn out the lights. Isn’t it brilliant? Want to invest?
I’m always striving to solve problems. Case in point – The other day while visiting my mom in MO there was another visitor in the house. Little Xavier’s mom was in the hospital having a baby. She had to stay over an extra day so Xavier was staying with his Grandma (who my mom lives with). His Grandma gave Xavier a bath, but as she was getting him ready realized there were no longer any diapers in his suitcase. It would be an hour before anyone could bring her diapers. Grandma got a little flustered with Xavier being “half neked.” I happened to look over and saw a Wal Mart bag. That’s when the idea took shape. We could put his legs through the bottom of the bag then take the loops and put his arms through the loops. Everyone laughed at my idea. I thought it was brilliant. His Grandma said, “There is no way he’ll let me put this on him.” She sat Xavier on her lap and proceed to slide his legs into the bag. The loops went over his arms, but kept falling down. I recommended a twist tie. We tied the loops behind him and he was able to go play without constantly being aware he was “half neked” and with Grandma not worrying about him having an accident on the couch.
As soon as he had on the “diaper” someone in the kitchen said, “Oh my gosh! It’s a redneck diaper!”
So, here is my first fully functional invention – The Redneck Diaper!
Xavier modeling his redneck diaper
Humor in the Holidays
December 5, 2009
This just in from Des Moines, Iowa ….
This is a friend of a friend in Des Moines. She lives just off a busy street.
Well, there is good news and bad news about my
Christmas decorations this year Good news is that I truly
out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad
news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come
screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made
me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic
accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by. Second, a 55 year
old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it
against my house and didn’t realize it was fake until she climbed to the
top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who
attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than
a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard. Kind of feel like I
gave in to the man by taking him down but my neighbor did confirm
to near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I
made him too real this time So it was fun while it lasted.
