The Plans I Have For You
June 28, 2009
She came to me – with that look on her face. I had known her for 21 years. I knew her looks. She was nervous, scared, and needed “to talk.” A list of possibilities ran through my mind. I suggested we go for a drive. There is something safe about driving around in the car talking. No interruptions. No distractions. Just she and I together in the car. We sat in the car for a moment. I turned to look at her. A tear fell down her cheek. The look in her eyes was that of fear, excitement, nervousness, and disappointment. I don’t remember the exact words we exchanged that night. But I know I had to pull the words out of her. I reassured her that nothing is insurmountable.
The irony was incredible to me. I never worried about “this” for her life. She was the one in our house who was the strongest proponent of purity. She was the one who confidently let me know that there was NO WAY she would ever sleep with a boy unless she was married. She was the one who put her life on hold to help me when I needed her. She was strong! Resolute! Morally Upright. And now … pregnant.
The first words out of my mouth were, “In our house, children are a blessing, no matter what the circumstances are.” Within seconds I knew that the best direction would be for me to support her 100 percent. She began telling me the plans she was making. I also wanted her to know that this was not the time to make the decisions. I felt strongly that she needed to know that everything would work out just fine, and that I would be there, by her side through the whole thing.
There are so many “life happenings” that we are unprepared to handle. I remember once telling someone, “Oh, I could never go through THAT!” I’m not sure what the THAT was, but I knew at the time I wouldn’t be able to go through it. It was around the time I found out about my oldest being molested that I realized, I didn’t need to know that I could go through it, until it was time. I needed my strength through the battle, not worrying about what might come in my future.
I’m so thankful that we don’t have to think about what may come in order for us to be able to handle it with grace and courage. You know…life is tough sometimes. For some reason, I thought it would get easier. On one hand it sort of has, because I’m stronger now. I remember once looking up to heaven telling God, “By the way God, I’m a wimp! Just thought I’d let you know. All this stuff getting thrown at me, I can’t handle it.” I’m pretty sure He’s standing there taking the brunt of most of my “stuff” only letting a few things pass through that He knows I can handle. So, when I’ve feeling overwhelmed, I just have to remember that this stuff has gone through God already, and HE thinks I can take it. And if HE thinks I can handle it – then by golly – I can handle it…even if I am a wimp. 
For Tina, about a month away from giving birth now, it can sometimes seem overwhelming. However, she has a great support team. She’ll be able to live here with us while she continues taking college courses and working. They even told her she could bring the baby to work. One of her concerns was how she was going to be able to afford all the stuff that goes along with having a baby. (I certainly am not able to help right now) Her workplace had a surprise baby shower for her (Ask me about the games!!! I got to plan them!). After the shower, Tina was sitting on her bed, looking like a huge load had been released from her. She said to me, “I got everything I need! That was the biggest stress for me, and God took care of it.” One loan tear droped out of her eye.
Even though we hate watching our kids struggle with the choices they make, it’s totally awesome when we get to see them realize that God is taking care of them in the midst of those choices.
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Terri, thank you for being so “REAL”
And YES, children are a blessing, no matter what the circumstances are.
Congratulations on the new life.
What grace you showed. If I’m ever in a similar situation, I hope to show as much grace, faith and confidence.
“In our house, children are a blessing, no matter what the circumstances are.” I don’t ever want to forget that sentence.
Thanks so much for sharing this….I had a not-so-ideal pregnancy when I was 17….I went over all the “choices” in my head and finally decided the only option acceptable was to become a mother. Then I found out I’d had a miscarriage. I was crushed and relieved at the same time. I have stressed and stressed over preventing this from ever happening with my daughters. Your experience has reminded me that we will weather the decisions of our children together no matter what…that’s our only acceptable choice.